1. Set your priorities and stick to them. This meant giving up my dream of becoming a writer full time, having to have three jobs to survive. But I took jobs that were flexible enough to meet the needs of Jeff. Although survival was needed, my mother's condition was still paramount.

2. Be open to change. I had to make some big changes that ultimately would give more security Jeff, I sold the house and got rid of everything but the essentials. In the midst of these adjustments, we saw how God took care of us. He gave us a beautiful house that we rented a woman who once was guiding. It was necessary to give a deposit and brought us a huge box of groceries when we occupied the house.

3. Determine firm boundaries. As Jeff tested the new settings, I found I needed to respond with stricter limits. When he tried to violate the time back home, I punished him by denying him out and bought a pager (now that would have been a cell phone) to remind the next time that he had little time to return.

4. Reject revenge. I did not want Jeff to a mother grew bitter, so I refused to talk negatively about his father. Although our family had been shattered, I longed for my son to have one day a marriage happy. I knew that a healthy relationship with his father help me to it. Jeff needed to achieve their own health without the burden of their parents. The limits on their freedom were firm, but Jeff spent the holidays with his father and visiting relatives. I prayed often during those nights when the natural desire of revenge I bombed the soul. And as I learned to cling to the Lord, that His hand was holding me (Psalm 63:8).

5. Preserve family traditions. Although life was totally different, some things had to remain the same. We had moved, but Jeff kept his new room virtually the same as he had before. I kept cooking your favorite foods, and once a week he continued taking care of dinner and cleaning.

6. Bring your pain to God. The fragmentation of a family leaves a mark that does not mitigate painful nothing but time. However, the mother gets the child can not get in a fetal position and refuse to live. To be sure, my son needed to have a strong mother. Although he answered honestly when I asked questions, the Lord kept me from embarrassing moments. My pain was deep and incredibly difficult process, but did not want to drown my sensitive child. Therefore, the screaming in my pillow reserved for the times that Jeff slept.

7. Take care of yourself. Staying in good physical condition increased my self-esteem, and taught my son the foundation of a healthy lifestyle. Except for an occasional cold, we kept in good shape at the same time God healed our souls slowly.